Local Revision: Variety

In this post, I will write about my sentence variety in Project 1.

Tryptofish, "Thousand Words." 15 June 2011. Creative Commons.

I think that my essay has good sentence variety; there are long and complex sentences as well as short and to the point sentences. The brief sentences allow the reader to take pauses and breaks from the content heavy sentences. My syntax is varied as well, which I made sure of when writing my draft. 

I do think that my sentence transitions are slightly repetitive. For example, I start each paragraph with the same topic sentence, introducing the stakeholders. My intentions were to immediately inform the reader who I would be focusing on next; however, now that I am reading my essay over again, I think I can be more creative. 

If I am being honest, my vocabulary could definitely use some work. It is very simple and clear, however I find that my word choice is not as insightful and vivid as I hoped. I plan to enhance my vocabulary in my final draft.