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| Juhko, "Pencil and paper." 30 July 2009. Public Domain. |
This is a very rough draft of my project, I chose the college essay genre. My controversial topic is focused on the prescription drug epidemic in America and who is at fault, pharmaceutical companies, doctors, or the patients themselves. I would like you to to focus on the content of my essay, do you think my facts are becoming excessive? Do I sound biased at any point? Tell me what I should add or what I should remove from my paper in order to improve it.
I'm not sure how to get the hyperlink to work via a comment, so I'll just post my rubric here.
ReplyDeleteCOMPLETED RUBRIC
The PDF of the rubric itself can be found on D2L. This is the scores assigned.
Who: 10 – Pretty plain and simple. Adequately explained who was involved, not much more to say here.
What: 8 – More details and quotes about what the individual was saying/trying to convey would push the score up
Where: 8 - Setting was introduced but not entirely expanded upon in terms of overall relevance to story, hence the 8 and not a 10.
When: 8 – For the same reason as setting; it was evident the physical location of the quotes and events, but to further drive home the overarching meaning, it would benefit you to explain its pertinence to the point you are trying to convey.
Why: 8 – It’s explained why pain medications are a huge deal, but lacks the emotional emphasis surrounding the severity of medicinal abuse that would push it over into the 9-10 category. Use some pathos!
The standard college essay format was extremely appropriate for such a complex matter. In order to present the task in such a way as to eliminate bias/incorporate the most facts possible, essays should be used because it introduces fact after fact after fact, THEN allows the reader to interpret what is going on as the argument develops. The ability to control/pace the reader’s thinking was extremely well-planned and executed, earning a score of 47 out of 50.
Adding up the scores together gives the essay an overall score of 89.
I also had difficulty getting the hyperlink to work in a comment, but if you copy and paste the link below, it should take you to the rubric that I filled out for you college essay.
ReplyDeletehttps://docs.google.com/a/email.arizona.edu/document/d/16v06HGVKib4fpuruTrRwygDbJvXbvYhygojHrIo4nbA/edit?usp=sharing
I think that you are off to a great start. It just needs a little bit more work. The link is below to see a more in-depth analysis of your draft.
ReplyDeletehttps://docs.google.com/a/email.arizona.edu/document/d/1GEl19Dh_lIaIxB8NV3876kQ6AxdoFqub1e6E76W-UiM/edit?usp=sharing
Hello
ReplyDeleteHere is the link to rubric for your draft.
Hi Sofia! I know I am in your class but literally no one else did an essay (and I had to find one of the same genre). This is the link to the rubric. Overall, the essay was honestly very interesting to read. Different drugs/medications intrigue me and that's probably why I found this exciting.
ReplyDelete