Report on My Interviews

In this post, I will write a report on my interviews.

afk tv, "Interview." July 9 2010. Creative Commons

The most significant or interesting genres that I learned from my interviewees are scientific reports and how important it is for them to be organized. Three specific genres from my field of study are PowerPoint presentations, scientific reports, and preliminary oral presentations that use posters.

These genres are different and depend on what kind of information is being presented. From what each professor told me, PowerPoints are typically used when teaching a course. It is important that there is only a small amount of information on each slide and is simplified completely. This is crucial because a content-heavy presentation leads to confusion and boredom. Scientific reports are used when the professor has conducted his own research. They are typically much more content heavy with several subheadings describing the process of the entire research project. Oral presentations are only done when there is only a small amount of research to present; they are usually 10 minutes long.

The most difficult thing to do when writing in these genres is sentence structure and organization. The concepts are already very intricate and hard for a general audience to follow; therefore, it is crucial that everything is presented as simply as possible.

Examples of scientific reports can mostly be found in academic journals or scientific blog websites.

From Academia to Social Media

In this post, I will write about the social media presence of one of the authors from my chosen journal. 

Kontos, "Logo for Writers and Poets Portal." 10 July 2008. Public Domain.

Joyce Klestzick was the author I chose; I found her on LinkedIn. Her social media presence was very similar to her presence in her article. I cannot view her full account because I do not have a Linkedin account myself, but from the information presented, I can tell she is an experienced psychologist. For example, her current profession states that she is in private practice and her education is listed: she attended Brandeis University, Hunter School of Social Work, and Training Institute for Mental Health.

Additionally, the academic journal lists where she currently works: McLean Hospital in Belmont, Massachusetts. Both her social media profile and her journal profile reassure her audience that she is a credible source and is knowledgeable on the topic of physiology and psychology. 

Academic Discourse and Genre

In this post, I will write about academic discourse and genre.

Pixabay, "Journal." Public Domain. 

There doesn’t seem to be that many different kinds of genres in this particular issue of the journal. It is mostly scientifically formatted articles. For example, most articles are presenting research and use scientific graphs and tables to do so. I guess if I had to identify differences among them, some articles use drawings of certain mazes that they constructed for their experiments, other articles use only tables to present their research, whereas some articles also use photographs.

If I were to come up with names for these different “genres,” I would call the articles with scientific graphs “Graphical Articles,” the articles with drawings, “Artistic Scientific Articles,” and the articles with photographs, “Photographical Scientific Articles.” I chose these names because they are pretty self-explanatory and easy for the reader to understand.

My own definition for each genre:

Graphical Scientific Articles: Articles that present their scientific research in the form of graphs and tables. The purpose of this genre is to provide numerical data to support whatever claim is being made.

Artistic Scientific Articles: Articles that use drawn out models of the tools or systems they use for their experiments. The purpose of this genre is to give the reader a better idea of how the experiment is being conducted. For example, if a certain maze is created to determine intelligence or memory levels of mice, it would be best to use this genre to show how complex the maze was.

Photographical Scientific Articles: Articles that include photographs such as x-rays or brain scans to support their scientific research. The purpose of this genre is to prove a claim being made about the physical difference of a being. An example might be the growth of activity in a certain lobe or cortex in the brain after doing a specific experiment.

Rhetorical Analysis of Academic Journal

In this post, I will write about the rhetorical analysis of my academic journal

Journal of Comparative Physiological Psychology

Some of the authors published in this issue are MaryLou Cheal, Joyce Klestzick, and Valerie B. Domesick. There are several other authors that contributed to this entire journal, too many to count. What the journal tells the readers is where each author currently works. Cheal and Domesick are both affiliated with the McLean Hospital in Belmont, Massachusetts and Harvard Medical School. Klestzick is also a member of the McLean Hospital in Belmont, Massachusetts.

The authors are portrayed as credible sources. For example, by including that all three authors of the article, “Attention and Habituation: Odor Preferences, Long-Term Memory, and Multiple Sensory Cues of Novel Stimuli” work at McLean Hospital assures the reader that they have the necessary education and experience to write an article on neuroscience (Pg 47).

The intended audience for this particular journal issue is most likely other scientists and professors. I can tell because the articles are not simplified for a general audience; they are very content heavy and use escalated vocabulary that only others who are familiar with physiological sciences would be able to comprehend. For example, one sentence in the article I mentioned above, “Investigation of novel stimuli may be thought of as part of a natural behavior that is analogous across many phylogenetic levels,” (pg 47).

The context surrounding this particular journal issue is….

The overall message and purpose of the journal issue is to present results from several experiments performed on animals to compare mostly their neurology to their physiology. Basically, why they might act the way they do and what it tells us about human physiology and psychology.

Specific details of the overall purpose are the titles of each of the articles in the journal: “A Vagally Mediated Histaminergic Component of Food-Related Drinking in the Rat”, “Effects of Paleocerebellar Lesions on DRL Performance in the Albino Rat”, “Memory and Septo-Hippocampal Connections in Rats.”

My Field of Study

In this post, I will write about my field of study.

 

Pixabay, "Doctor." Public Domain.

Students in my program (physiology) learn everything there is to know about how the human body works. The department of physiology prepares students for careers in the medical field; it is the only undergraduate major offered through the College of Medicine.

People who get degrees in this field usually go on to graduate school. Potential graduate schools can typically vary from physical therapy, physician’s assistant, and medical school.

I was drawn into this field because I have always been interested in science classes, and I aspire to become a surgical physician’s assistant in my future. I have a passion to help people and human anatomy fascinates me. In order to achieve my goals as a PA, the requirements to be accepted into PA school were most closely related to the graduation requirements of the physiology major.

Three of the leaders involved in Physiology in 2016:

Michael Bishop

Bishop is a medical oncologist at the University of Chicago Medical Center. He led a clinic that allows patients to receive treatment and return daily to their families and the comforts of home.  He believes that when you are up and moving around, the lungs are more expanded, the oxygenation is better, and organs perform better. His dedication to his research on the prevention and treatment of relapse after stem cell transplantation inspires me because not only does he serve as an amazing doctor, but also as a remarkable mentor.

Kathy Albain

Albain is a medical oncologist at Loyola University Health System. She has led a ton of studies in the fight against lung and breast cancer. She has been doing research to prove that many breast cancer patients can avoid chemotherapy. She claims that this research will help cut a lot of the debilitating side effects that couldn’t be controlled before. She is interesting to me because her findings make a huge difference in the lives of cancer patients.

David B Argo

Argo is an orthopaedic surgeon specializing in sports medicine. He works with high school athletes as well as college athletes. He currently sees patients at a bunch of different locations all over the country. He inspires me because I have interests in sports medicine and his success has motivated me to take more interest in this field of medicine.

Three leading academic journals:

American Physiological Society- “Advances in PhysiologicalEducation”

The journal publishes peer-reviewed descriptions of innovations that improve teaching in the classroom and lab, essays on education, and review articles based on our current understanding of physiological mechanisms. It was published on the Amercican Physiological Society website and can be found at the University of Arizona Health Sciences Library.

American Cancer Society: CA: A Cancer Journal for Clinicians

The journal was published for the American Cancer Society, and provides peer-reviewed publications containing solicited review articles of interest to health care professionals interested in best practices for cancer prevention, early detection, and treatment.

Journal Of Comparative and Physiological Psychology

The American Psychological Association publishes this journal bimonthly. It was published form 1921-1982 and includes articles that focus on experiments done on rats to determine more about memory functioning and physiology.

My Interviewees on Social Media

In this post, I will write about my interviewees on social media.

Pixabay, "Social Media." Public Domain. 

William Dantzler

Youtube: “Living History of Physilogy Project of The American Physiological Society”

Dantzler was the interviewer of Douglas G. Stuart at the University of Arizona. Stuart was granted an honorary doctoral degree from the University of Arizona and offered his advice to young people either considering or just starting a career in physiology.

WordPress: Dantlzer published his novel, “Comparative Physilogy of the Vertebrate Kidney” on this website.

Dantzler’s social media presence is very professional. He talks about the same things that relate to his professional career and research. He is part of the American Physiological Society, but other than that, I could not find any social media that focused on his personal life. For example, in his interview,

Eldon Braun

 I could not find any social media for Professor Braun. In my interview, I specifically asked him if he had any form of social media; he replied no. He doesn’t find it necessary or helpful to use social media networks for his research. Additionaly, he is a retiree, and admits that he just isn’t in the “social media generation.”

My Interviewees as Professional Writers

In this post, I will write about my interviewees as professional writers

Escamilla, Alejandro. "Left-handed writing with wristwatch."19 May 2013. Creative Commons.

Eldon Braun

Professor Braun’s professional publications, according to the University of Arizona physiology page where I found his information, focused on the anatomy of reptiles, birds, and mammals. His research is aimed towards comparative renal physiology and morphology and the regulation of individual nephron filtration rates and renal blood flow. Essentially, he is interested in kidney processes.

One of Braun’s publications is on Journal of Exotic Pet Medicine and is based off of his research on kidney function. He has written a very brief formal article that presents his findings. There is no introduction or conclusion, just simply a summary of his research. Additionally, he has contributed to the novel “Regulation of Water and Electorlytes.” He partnered, ironically, with William Dantzler, on writing the chapter “Mechanisms of Hormone Actions on Renal Function.” This is vastly different from his other publication, as it is much longer and more content heavy. It is clear that this took more time to produce. There is an introduction, as well as several subtitles and sections of this chapter.

The context surrounding Braun’s article on Journal of ExoticPet Medicine:

The article was published in April of 1998. This article is brief and to the point, stating only Braun’s findings. The only social and historical relations I can consider being related to this article is the fact that mammals has vastly different kidneys compared to those of reptiles and birds because of environmental and ecological reasons, maybe alcohol consumption by humans? The cultural and linguistic background of the primary audience includes people who are in the veterinarian, zoology, and/or medical field. Considering it is published on the Journal of Exotic Pet Medicine, most readers will be familiar with the anatomy of animals. The overall message and purpose of this piece is to present factual findings of Braun’s research.

The context surrounding Braun’s contribution in “Regulationof Water and Electrolytes”:

The book was published in 1987. This volume is lengthy, with an introduction, body, and conclusion. It is in the form of a standard college essay, with in-text citations and a formal tone.  There aren’t really any social and historical relations to take into consideration; the purpose of this novel is to publish factual information regarding renal functions and the affect of hormones.

William Dantzler

Professor Dantzler’s professional publications that I found on the University of Arizona physiology page focused on renal physiology of mammals, reptiles, and birds. Ironically, his research was very similar to Professor Braun’s research.

One of Dantzler’s publications is “Comparative Physiology ofthe Vertebrate Kidney.” This is a relatively content heavy novel with several chapters presenting information of the different roles and processes of kidney regulation. The professional genre seems to be in college essay format, with a formal tone. Additionally, Dantzler has published several articles online. One article is “Urine Concentrating Mechanism In The Inner Medulla Of The MammalianKidney: Role of Three Dimensional Architecture.” It is a brief article summarizing his findings from his research.

The context of “Comparative Physiology of the Vertebrate Kidney”

This novel was published in 1989. It is a very long book with several chapters and subheadings. The tone of his writing is formal and almost sounds like a scientific proposal. There is an index page as well as credits for the work he includes in his passages. The purpose of this novel is to educate the reader on the vertebrate kidney.

The context of “Urine Concentrating Mechanism In The Inner Medulla Of The Mammalian Kidney: Role of Three Dimensional Architecture.”

This article is found on PubMed.gov, which is the US National Library of Medicine. The conventions of this article are similar to those of the article composed by Braun. There is no introduction or conclusion; its purpose is simply a summary of Dantzler’s experimental findings. The audience most likely reading this would be members of the Physiological Society, doctors, students, and other professors. Thus the tone of his writing is formal.

My Interview Subjects

My Interview Subjects:

Wiliam H Dantzler, PhD

Eldon Braun, PhD

Both of the interviewees are retired professors with PhD titles who worked for the University of Arizona. Professor Braun received his PhD from University of Arizona and Professor Dantzler received his PhD from Duke.

Professor Braun was an active professor in the Physiology department for 48 years and Professor Dantzler was an active professor for 41 years. 

Eldon Braun

William H Dantzler

Scheduled Interviews:

Eldon Braun: 1pm on Friday, February 26, 2016 in his office in room 4121 of the Health Science Center.

William H Dantzler: 2:30pm on Friday, February 26, 2016 in his office in room 4129 in the Main Medical Center building.

Interview Questions for Eldon Braun:

1.     Where did you attend undergraduate and graduate school?

2.     How long were you a physiology professor for?

3.     I found that you have done extensive research on comparative renal physiology and morphology and the regulation of individual nephron filtration rates and renal blood flow. How and when did you become interested in kidney process? (Journal of Exotic Pet Medicine)

4.     When you write your research, what kind of audience are you writing for? Is it for students, other professors, or doctors?

5.     What are the most common writing genres that you regularly write in for your position as a professor or when giving presentations at conferences? For example, do you ever work in non-text based genres like video or audio genres?presented at lar

6.     Did you ever use social media as a professor or for your research on renal blood flow?

7.     How has your writing as a physiology professor changed/evolved with time?

8.     What software do you rely on when working on presenting your research or lectures as a professor?

9.     For your project regarding renal physiology, what steps took the longest for your writing process? (Project planning, brainstorming, outlining, actual research, revision, publication)

1.  Is there anything about professional communication in the medical field that you think students like myself just starting out in this field that should know?

 Interview Questions for William H Dantzler:

Where did you attend undergraduate and graduate school?

 How long were you a physiology professor for? And how old were you when you were active in the field

I found that your research interests includes cellular and molecular mechanisms and regulation of organic anion and cation transport in renal proximal tubules of mammals, bird and reptiles. How did you become interested in this?

 When you publish the work found in your research, what is your writing process like and what takes the longest for you? (project planning, brainstorming, outlining, actual research, revision, publication)

What were the most common writing genres that you regularly wrote in for your position as a professor or when giving presentations at conferences regarding research? For example, do you ever work in non-text based genres or was it typically powerpoints?

   Did you ever use social media as a professor or for your research, would you do so now?

 How has your writing as a physiology professor changed/evolved with time?

   What software do you rely on when working on presenting research or lectures as a professor?

  What audience did you tend to write for? (Students, doctors, other professors, anyone in medical field)

Brutally Honest Self-Assignment

In this post, I will be brutally honest on how confident I am about my Project 1 essay.

Nervous gif, "Cartoon Image of a Nervous Man." 10 October 2010. Creative Commons.

I am feeling very nervous about the project I just submitted, hence the image I chose for this blog post. I just hope that I have provided exactly what the reader (Sean) is looking for. I followed the rubric but I'm still unsure if I was on the right track.

The major weaknesses of my project are most likely my introduction and concluding paragraphs. I always have issues grabbing the reader's attention and wrapping my essay up. My body paragraphs are well organized in my opinion, I spent much of my time on the content and not so much on the creativity of my introduction and concluding paragraphs.

The major strengths of my essay are my organization of my body paragraphs. Each paragraph is dedicated to either a major stakeholder, or background information on the main controversy. It is easy for the reader to follow the main points made in the essay.

I think I could definitely work on time management. I had no idea how much time these projects required and I will admit that I overestimated my ability to produce a quality essay in a small amount of time. Overall, I do think I put in a lot of time and effort in my project as the due date came closer. I started to realize that I cannot just spend my sunday night on all of my blog posts and expect them to be helpful to my project. 

Local Revision: Variety

In this post, I will write about my sentence variety in Project 1.

Tryptofish, "Thousand Words." 15 June 2011. Creative Commons.

I think that my essay has good sentence variety; there are long and complex sentences as well as short and to the point sentences. The brief sentences allow the reader to take pauses and breaks from the content heavy sentences. My syntax is varied as well, which I made sure of when writing my draft. 

I do think that my sentence transitions are slightly repetitive. For example, I start each paragraph with the same topic sentence, introducing the stakeholders. My intentions were to immediately inform the reader who I would be focusing on next; however, now that I am reading my essay over again, I think I can be more creative. 

If I am being honest, my vocabulary could definitely use some work. It is very simple and clear, however I find that my word choice is not as insightful and vivid as I hoped. I plan to enhance my vocabulary in my final draft.

Local Revision: Pronoun Usage

In this post, I will evaluate the effectiveness of my pronoun usage.

Pexels,"Woman writing" 27 March 2014. Public Domain.

My pronoun usage in my essay for Project 1 is repetitive. I use the same pronouns, mostly when referring to stakeholders. It might be more effective and formal to take some pronouns and replace them with the specific person or group that I am referring to. Most of the time the pronouns are used in the same sentence as the stakeholder was already mentioned. 

There are two instances where I directly refer to the audience. This is effective because I address specific questions that I assume the reader would have once they reach that point in my essay. Additionally, at the end of my essay, I reassure them that this project is unbiased by stating "whichever party you may disagree or agree with..". I think this keeps a formal tone but at the same time wraps up the entire idea of the essay. 

Local Revision: Passive and Active Voice

In this post, I will list all of the active specific and general verbs as well as passive verbs used in my essay for Project 1.

Pixabay, "Words." Public Domain.

Active Specific:

intensifying
desensitizing
boosting
target
framed

Active General:
Consumes
Use
Prove
Argue
Believe
make
cover
consider
lead
produce
affect
try
get
induce
doubled
continues
used
approved
compiled
target
leaked
fought
filed
promoting
died
supporting
points
allows
went
witnessed
diagnose
misuse
force
agree
disagree
rid
enforce

Passive:
abused
documented
happen
accounted
instructed
neglecting
given
made

Looking at the breakdown of my verb choices, most of my verbs are general and vague. I could definitely work on making my verbs more vivid and specific to enhance my essay. However, there are not too many passive verbs and the few that I did use were incorporated into my essay so that they flow.

To overall improve my essay, I need to provide more specific and vivid verbs to help my reader engage in the controversy more. This will also make my project less boring.

My Pronouns

In this post, I will provide a list of all the pronouns used in my essay for Project 1.

Literrio, Antonio, "Power of Words." 26 May 2011. Creative Commons.

Pronoun List:

It (Drug abuse issue)

They (drug addicts)

Who (drug addicts)

Those (stakeholders who blame pharmaceutical companies)

They (pharmaceutical companies)

It (OxyContin)

Their (Pharmaceutical companies)

They (opiods)

THey (Purdue Pharma)

Who (doctors)

They (doctors)

Their (doctors)

His (Willis Duncan)

Him (Willis Duncan)

He (Willis Duncan)

These (statistics)

Those (stakeholders who blame doctors)

Their (Doctors)
It (Drug abuse issue)

Them (drugs)

These (drugs)

Whom (drug users)

They (Vietnam soldiers)

This (Argument blaming patients)

Many (Americans)

Local Revision: Tense Usage

In this post, I will organize the verbs used in my essay in three different columns: past, present, and future.

Hiking Artist, "A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words" 26 July 2012. Creative Commons.

Verb List 

Past:

Documented

Approved

Instructed

Leaked

Filed 

Died

Prescribed

Led

Been 

Went

Told

Needed

Gotten (2x)

Witnessed

Proven

Given

Made

Done
Found

Framed

Present:

Prove

Argue(4x)

Believe(4x)

Make

Reviewing

Consider

Affect

Produce

Try

Get (3x)

Induce

Continues

Answer
Expand
Boost
Prescribe
Become(2x)
Supporting
Points
Allows
Sue
Leaving
Know
Function
Watching
Neglecting
Diagnose
Blame
Stop
Being
Fearing
Ask
Find
Misuse
Force
Requires
Use
Escape(2x)
Agree
Disagree
Enforce
Feel
Halt

Future:
"Will" Cover

The present tense verbs are most prevalent in my essay because the topic that the essay focuses on is a present day controversy. This allows the reader to feel closer to the events that are occurring, almost like the events are essentially happening as the reader makes his or her way through the essay.

The switch between mostly past and present tense verbs flows because the present tense verbs are making the points of the major stakeholders, whereas the past tense verbs are used to support those claims by presenting past actions or events.

My Verbs

In this post, I am going to make a list of every verb used in my college essay for Project 1.

"Nouveau Dictionnaire Larousse." 15 January 2013. Public Domain

Verb List:

prove

argue

believe

argues

make

cover

reviewing

consider

lead

prescribed

produce

affect

abused

try

intensifying

get

induce

uses

desensitizing

documented

continues

become

answer

approved

became

led

believe

argue

leaked

filed

died

expand

boost

found

prescribe

instructed

become

prescribed

framed

supporting

points

allows

sue

led

been

leaving

went

told

needed

gotten

know

function

watching

witnessed

neglecting

diagnose

blame

believe

stop

being

fearing

ask

believes

proven

given

find

misuse

get

argues

force

become

requires

made

use

escape

agree

disagree

gotten

done

halt

rid

enforce

feel

get

escape

Tally of verbs used multiple times:

Prove= 2x

Argue= 4x

Believe= 4x

Make= 2x

Lead= 3x

Prescribe= 3x

Escape= 2x

Get= 4x

Become= 4x

Local Revision: Wordiness

In this post, I will revise my wordiest paragraph of my college essay.

Colton, Julian. "Closeup of a pencil tip." 22 May 2011. Public Domain.

This is my wordiest paragraph of my Project 1 draft:

Another argument points the blame to doctors. For example, West Virginia now allows painkiller addicts to sue prescribing doctors. According to Willis Duncan, his doctor’s only treatment was a never-ending supply of pills that led to his addiction. Duncan had been in a coal mining accident, leaving him with a crushed sternum and broken ribs. When he went to see his doctor, “he would wait for hours to be seen at a clinic for just a few minutes, where 150 patients lined up every day” (Axelrod, Jim). He eventually never told a doctor he needed help because he had gotten so used to the pills and didn’t know how to function without them. After watching a documentary on CBS News about West Virginia Clinics, I witnessed the inside of an exam room. “Hundreds of patient records were seized with thousands of undated and pre-signed prescriptions for addictive pain medications” (Axelrod, Jim). In addition to neglecting, doctors are more likely than ever to diagnose patients with chronic-pain syndromes. The Institute of Medicine estimates that 100 million Americans have chronic pain (“Viewpoint: Are Doctors to Blame for Prescription-Drug Abuse?”). Obviously, these numbers are ridiculous. Those who blame doctors for this drug abuse epidemic believe that they must stop being lazy, fearing patient satisfactory surveys, and truthfully ask their patients about their pain.

This is my revised version:

One major stakeholder is Willis Duncan, who strongly believes that doctors are the main cause of painkiller addicts and should be sued. Duncan was in a coal-mining accident, leaving him with a crushed sternum, broken ribs, and a future painkiller addiction. When he visited his doctor, “he would wait for hours to be seen at a clinic for just a few minutes, where 150 patients lined up every day” (Axelrod, Jim). He never asked the doctor for help because he was so used to the pills and didn’t know how to function without them. A documentary on West Virginia Clinics showed “Hundreds of patient records were seized with thousands of undated and pre-signed prescriptions for addictive pain medications” (Axelrod, Jim). Doctors are also more likely than ever to diagnose patients with chronic-pain syndromes. An estimated 100 million Americans have "chronic pain" (“Viewpoint: Are Doctors to Blame for Prescription-Drug Abuse?”). Those who blame doctors for this drug abuse epidemic believe that they must stop being lazy, fearing patient satisfactory surveys, and truthfully ask their patients about their pain.

Peer Review 2

In this post, I will discuss my review of the projects of my peers Alec Eulano's draft and Bianca Aguilar's draft.

Reneman, "Icon, Draft." 24 February 2013. Creative Commons.

Here is Alec's review and here is Bianca's review.

After comparing drafts of the same project in different genres, I realized how crucial it is to understand the conventions of each genre. For example, several QRG drafts were very well done and included all of the necessary information. However, they lacked an appropriate amount of white space or not enough visuals, thus missing the entire point of the genre. This encouraged me to carefully revise my essay and pay more attention to genre conventions for future projects. 

After looking over my draft again and other people's comments, the three top issues with my draft seem to be: 

1. Not having a great introduction that draws the reader in

2. Not including enough information on major stakeholders (Purdue Pharma)

3. Having a slightly disorganized essay that needs some tweaking.

I plan on cleaning up my essay and providing more necessary information on my stakeholders so the reader is not so confused. I need to consider the fact that not everybody is as familiar with this controversy as I am. Additionally, I plan on altering my introduction, as now that I look at it, it seems like a bunch of facts put together. 

The top three strengths of my essay include:

1. Using quotes from different stakeholders to give the audience a better idea of their position on the controversy. 

2. My content is very clear to the audience.

3. My use of rhetorical questions gives me a unique voice.

I plan to make sure my content stays clear to the audience because that is a very crucial part of project one. I also might add more rhetorical questions in my college essay to allow the reader to follow the essay without confusion. 

Peer Review 1

In this post, I will review Vincent Giacoppo's QRG draft. The focus of his project is on Google's self driving car accident. The link to his draft is here.

Google, "Google."1 September 2015. Public Domain.

My grading rubric link is here. I thought this draft was very organized and well thought out. However the content was lacking in some areas. The stakeholders could be elaborated on more. As far as content goes, I suggest the writer works on the "why" section more. How does this affect the country or the world? Also focus on what it might lead to in the future. The "what" section was very clear. I understood what the issue was and the different opinions on it. Additionally, the writer used the conventions of a QRG effectively, but could be more creative with the introduction and title.

2 Positive Things I found: Well organized QRG and easy to comprehend
2 Negative Things that could be changed: Introduction lacked creativity and content can have more substance as far as the "why" section goes.

Draft of Project 1

In this post, I will provide my first draft for Project 1.

Juhko, "Pencil and paper." 30 July 2009. Public Domain.

Here is the link to my draft.

This is a very rough draft of my project, I chose the college essay genre. My controversial topic is focused on the prescription drug epidemic in America and who is at fault, pharmaceutical companies, doctors, or the patients themselves. I would like you to to focus on the content of my essay, do you think my facts are becoming excessive? Do I sound biased at any point? Tell me what I should add or what I should remove from my paper in order to improve it.

The Time Period

In this post, I will write about what else was going on in the world around the time of my controversy.

Open Clip Art Library, "News" 27 November 2005. Public Domain.

Local News:

“Billion-dollar OxyContin verdict rests on disputed misseddeadline.”

“West Virginia allows painkillers addicts to sue prescribing doctors”

National News:

History “Barak Obamaelected as America’s first black president” 

Forbes “Tackling The Real Unemployment Rate: 12.6%”

Global News:

ABC News “ISIS Trail of Terror”

NBC News “Abuse of Prescription drugs surges across globe”

What else was going on?

America’s prescription drug epidemic has been an ongoing issue for almost a decade now. During this time period, several major events have taken place in the world. For example, Barack Obama was elected president, and with that came Obamacare. This made prescription drugs more affordable. Also, there was a Boston Marathon terrorist attack in 2013; this traumatic event obviously could have led to the increase of drug abuse in America. The outbreak of the Syrian civil war in 2011 made ISIS much moe of a threat. This stress all over the world could have also led to drug abuse in a way of coping with misery.

Locally, the state of Kentucky had filed a lawsuit against the Purdue Pharma company for releasing false information about their drugs. Additionally, West Virginia allowed painkiller addicts, specifically Willis Duncan, to sue their doctors. Also happening nationally, Barak Obama was elected as president in 2008. This might affect my controversy because Obama has a specific plan devised to tackle the prescription drug overdoes problem in the United States.  

Additionally, a news article was released regarding United States unemployment rate over the past decade. According to the article, there are countless discouraged workers not currently looking for work because they have lost all hope in actually finding one. This relates to my controversy because the unemployment rate could be a factor of the increased drug abuse, drugs being a way to cope with unemployment or maybe even being the cause of it. 

Regarding global news, ISIS has emerged significantly over the past decade and has affected several American troops. This could be another cause for the increase of opioid abuse, initially being prescribed to these troops for their chronic pains, then resulting in abuse. Also globally, NBC News released an article concerning drug abuse in parts of Europe, Africa and South Asia. Also the ‘date rape drug’ spike in Scandinavia has resulted in several deaths. This relates to my controversy because it provides insight on drug abuse in several different countries compared to drug abuse in America alone.   

The Setting

In this post, I will write about the main setting of my story.

Rosenberg, Gerold. "Deutsch: Allna von Suden mit Weiershausen im Hintergrund" 17 May 2012. Wikimedia Commons.

The main states that are filing lawsuits against drug companies and doctors are located in the south. Specifically, Kentucky and West Virginia. Very recently, the state of West Virginia has allowed painkiller addicts to sue prescribing doctors. After doing research, I found what the inside of an exam room at a West Virginia pain clinic looks like. The exam room was completely filled with giant piles of garbage and loose files and prescription pads. There were even loose syringes on the floor. This room did not appear to be an exam room but more of a trash disposal. This room most likely smells like something had evidently died in there, when it should smell like hand sanitizer and latex gloves. 12 Clinics in West Virginia were shut down by the Department of Health. 

Additionally, Kentucky recently sued a large drug company for misleading information. Kentucky’s unemployment rate is one of the highest in the country; the modern-day poverty has led to the environment of it being rather meager. There are several small, run-down houses, filled with garbage and broken furniture. Some families do not even live with running water or electricity. Additionally, there are images captured of families living in rural areas of the state, barely surviving in cluttered trailers that reek of dirty dishes and old garbage. The most impoverished states seem to be the states with the most prescription drug abuse. This is not a pleasant way to live, however it is the setting that we are dealing with for the main controversy. 

Stakeholder #3

In this post, I will write about the last major stakeholder for my controversy used for Project 1.

Schmidt, Judy "A woman receiving a vaccination shot from her doctor" 2006. Public Domain.

The third stakeholder for this specific controversy is Matt Berry, the author of the article “Are Doctors to Blame for Prescription Drug Abuse?” Berry is an experienced copywriter and well-known journalist who has written an extensive amount of articles focused on drug abuse, law and crime. He is a young man, from his photos he looks like he is in his late twenties and early thirties, from Raleigh, North Carolina. He has brown hair and a little stubble on his chin, proving that he is younger. 

Additionally, he writes for the website Rehabs.com. This website provides information for those suffering with substance abuse and behavioral addictions. The actual website itself appears to be unbiased with respect to news regarding drug abuse; its main purpose is to offer several treatment centers for those suffering from drug addiction. 

Berry, however, is biased in the article he writes; he presents all positions of this argument, but then concludes with a strong message about how it is entirely the individual’s decision to become a drug addict or not. The tone of his writing sounds slightly annoyed in a way, he seems angry with the idea of blaming anyone but your own self for your sobriety.

Quotes by Matt Berry:

1.     “No matter how you feel about America’s prescription drug culture or our current healthcare system, it’s important to understand that you are ultimately in control of the decisions made regarding your health.”

2.     “Perform research, seek second-opinions and always be discerning when taking a drug that’s designed to affect your mind and body. The more you know, the better off you’ll be to make informed and beneficial decisions.”

3.     “And one more thing; never give doctors, pharmaceutical companies or cultural trends the power to make healthcare decisions for you. You’re in charge of your sobriety; your questions, concerns and reactions are valid. Let your voice be heard.”

These claims are also incredibly valid. Objectively, these claims are more of opinions rather than facts. This stakeholder still cites several facts in his article, allowing the audience to understand the situation of the controversy better.

These claims are different from the past two stakeholders because Berry focuses the blame less on doctors and pharmacists and more on the individual drug addict. Matt Berry is definitely the odd one out compared to the other two stakeholders, who refuse to point any of the blame on patients.